Working with Difficult People and Management of Conflict Part 2

Working with Difficult People and Conflict Management
Difficult people do exist a work and in life, they come in every variety and no workplace is without them. How difficult a person is for you to deal with depends on your self-esteem, self-confidence, and your professional courage at work. Dealing with difficult people is easier when they are generally obnoxious and generally affecting multiple people, dealing with them is much tougher when they are attacking, criticizing, or undermining your professional contribution or personally.
Difficult people come in every conceivable variety; some talk constantly, never listen. Others must always have the last word. Some fail to keep commitments; others criticize anything they did not create. Difficult team members compete with you for power, privilege, and the spotlight, with or without your knowledge and some will also go so far as to seek the boss’s positive opinion to your detriment. Difficult team members will attempt to undermine you and constantly make you feel as you need to watch your back. Your boss may play favorites (on purpose or not) and the favored team member will hold it over you. Others will form cliques and leave you out; you are told that others are speaking about you behind your back. Difficult people and situations such as these examples exist in every workplace. Each workplace has one thing in common, these situations and people must be addressed and dealt with immediately or will make the environment extremely negative and toxic.
In every workplace, as we have those difficult team members, manager, clients, and vendors, dealing with all these different personalities is a skill worth perfecting. Dealing with the difficult situations in and out of work can be challenging, however, when handled positively, can be rewarding also. You can vastly improve your own work environment and morale when you increase your ability to deal with these situations at work. You can also make your workplace a better environment for all employees when you address the problems that a difficult team member is causing for the team. Fortunately, in most workplaces, you spend the majority of your days dealing with normal, everyday people, but, in the event that a team member is a difficult person, you’ll need additional skills in your interpersonal skills arsenal. You can increase your skill in dealing with the difficult people who surround you in your work world.

Common types of difficult people and situations that you may encounter in your workplace that needs to be address:
The Bully: Working with a bully can make you feel intimidated, dread going to working anywhere near this team member and feel dismayed and upset about having to go to work at all. If you feel threatened, either psychologically or physically, get yelled at, insulted, or put down, that is the work of a bully. Other signs of a bully are: one who talks over you at meetings, who criticizes your performance, and steals credit for your work.
Negative Coworker: Some team members wallow in their negativity. They do not like their jobs, and they do not like working for their company. They always had bad bosses who are jerks who always treat them unfairly. The company is always going to fail, and its customers are worthless and demanding. You know their negative team members and most of us deal with this negativity by avoiding it. However, we will show you how to turn around the negativity into a positive experience.
Difficult Management: Nothing is more destructive in the workplace than difficult management. Every employee has a manager who provide direction throughout their working careers. Hopefully, most of your managers are competent, kind, and worthy of your trust and respect. They play such a significant role with the employees who report to them. Managers can make or break an employee's day. Too often, employees have difficult managers who have a negative impact on their desire to engage and contribute to the workplace.
Ways to counteract the difficult situation:
Overcome your fear of confrontation and conflict: Confronting a team member (or anyone) is never easy, but it is commonly needed if you want to stick up for your rights at work. No matter what the confrontation is about, it is not always easy, also not always the first step but it is a necessary step. You can become better and more comfortable with the necessary conflict and these tips will help you become more comfortable when need to be in a confrontation.
Develop Effective Work Relationships: You can ruin both your job and your career by the relationships you develop with your team members at work. Your education, experience, and titles do not matter if you cannot play well your team members and management. You will not succeed in your work environment without forming positive relationships at work. Effective relationships with management and team members can create success and satisfaction on the job.
How to Hold a Difficult Conversation: Have you encountered any of these examples of needing to deal with difficult people at work? They are just examples of the types of behavior that cry out for responsible feedback from a team member or manager. But, for most people, holding a difficult conversation about a sensitive topic is challenging. These steps will help you hold difficult conversations when people need professional feedback provided professionally. Holding a difficult conversation can have positive outcomes when the conversation is approached properly; here is how to attain them.
Tackle Annoying Employee Habits and Issues: Have you worked with a team member who had annoying habits such as loud gum chewing or bringing personal issues to the office every day? How about a team member who had personal hygiene problems or exuded the smell of alcohol and coffee at work? You know what problems and productivity downer these kinds of behavioral and personal issues can present in the workplace. If you want to attain some happiness at work, you must address these issues. Do you need some help and ideas about how to hold a difficult conversation? Here is how you can courageously address team members who have annoying habits in your workplace.
Team Building with Team Members: You want to be well known and liked among the people the company regards as their superstars, allies who have power and will speak up for you. You can achieve job security if you are viewed as a team member by your organization. Building alliances at work is smart and effective behavior when you want to develop positive team members relationships. These alliances are also crucial for dealing with difficult or destructive team member’s behavior in the workplace. They are also crucial when you want your ideas to be implemented.
Manage Gossip: Gossip is rampant in most workplaces and is a sign of bullying. It often seems that people have nothing better to do than gossip about each other. They will gossip about their team members, managers, and their company's prospects for success. They frequently take partially true facts and blow it all out of proportion to its importance or intended meaning. Dealing with these difficult situations involving gossip occurs in every workplace. Find out how deal with difficult gossip is a must-do and a can-do, so you can deal appropriately and obliterate this destructive gossip from your workplace and your life.

Managing Conflicting Situations

Conflict means different things to different people. Conflict is usually associated with negative meaning; it can be surprising to learn that conflict is normal and healthy. For some, definition of conflict involves fighting, war, and so on and for others, it may be a difference in opinions, perspective, or personality. With two “conflicting” individuals, one may feel that they are in conflict and the other may feel they are discussing or debating opposing views. A lot of how we feel about a situation of “conflict” is due to our personal “take” of the situation. Conflict is an inevitable and a big part of life. When people interact conflict can happen. When ignored or poorly handled, conflict is divisive, erosive, and destructive. When managed effectively, conflict can lead to problem solving, better solutions and stronger relationships.
Conflicts arise because people have different experiences, backgrounds, and perspectives. Conflict may generate creative, innovative approaches to an issue or decision and is beneficial when the focus is on finding the best solution. Conflict is destructive when the focus is on personal tensions, personalities, or egos. Conflict is especially damaging when it fails to produce mutually satisfying solutions or when it becomes personal in nature.
Most people approach conflict differently, which their approach may depend on the type of conflict it is, or the individuals involved. It is important that each individual team member recognizes how he/she will react to conflict to help you improve your skills at management of the conflict. One of the best ways to gain a better understanding of your own personal style of conflict management is to keep documentation (journal) of each individual situation or conflict and how it was handled. When journal the conflict, observe whether your own response is withdrawal, agreeable, aggressive, or collaborative. Breakdown of each is:
• Withdrawal: Avoiding or withdrawing from conflict situations
• Agreeable: Deferring to the other person’s point of view
• Aggressive: Trying to convince the other person that you are right
• Collaborative: Working through the issues to arrive at a mutually satisfying agreement.

Self-awareness is the first step to effective conflict management, self-analyzing your situations and seeking feedback from a trusted friend or mentor. Ask them to be honest and reflect on their insight and feedback provided. It can be extremely helpful to identify people and situations that are a challenge for you and analyze what it is about the situation or the specific individual that causes you to react in certain ways. Part of the challenge in conflict resolution is a clear understanding of the issues. It can be exceedingly difficult to arrive at a meaningful solution unless you deal with the real cause of the conflict.
Some important tips that can be followed to uncover the real reason for the conflict at hand:
• Always listen first, then share your point of view.
• Try to determine the root of the conflict (lack of facts/information, conflicting priorities, etc.…)
• Express views in terms of the needs and goals to the resolution, trying to not your solution.
• Practice active listening – listen carefully, paraphrase, reflect and seek understanding of issues at hand.
• Communicate openly, honestly, respectfully, and professional.
• Stick to situation of conflict at hand, do not stray from the goal of resolution.